To my friends quickly skimming this on Facebook, don’t be alarmed. Yes, “Les Lye” is an anagram of my wife’s name “Lesley.” Lesley is just fine.

Les Lye was the adult male actor on You Can’t Do That on Television. The character I remember the most was Barth, the diner owner whose hygiene and culinary skills left much to be desired, a great opportunity for a young tween like myself to laugh and yell, “Eeew!” He was a funny, funny man to a lot of kids, including me.

Moment of silence for Les Lye.

I wish I could find a YouTube clip of this: My favorite Dom DeLuise moment is from Cannonball Run. A police office is lecturing Burt Reynolds and Dom DeLuise, point at the two of them and sternly asks, “You got that?” Dom DeLuise gently grabs the the pointed finger in a subtle, feminine, completely emasculating and thoroughly dirty manner and replies, “We sure do.” I can’t do it justice, but it’s an example of the small quirks he would bring to even the broadest of roles.

Moment of silence for Dom DeLuise.

This will have to do:

(I still owe Bea Arthur a moment of silence, too.)

You wouldn’t think I would offer up a Moment of Silence for a sports announcer, given that I am hardly a sports fan. Harry Kalas, though, had one of the most unmistakeable voices you’ve ever heard, and his was one of my favorites. His voice, to me, is synonymous with sports, like Howard Cosell’s. And I can only assume he was a humble man, willing to bring the voice of NFL Films to the Animal Planet Puppy Bowl, of all things. I rarely watch sports, but living in Chicago, I hear sports all the time. Sports will sound different to me now. (I hope Harry and Don LaFontaine are getting along wherever they are now.)

Moment of silence for Harry Kalas.

I looked all over for some online footage of an actual NFL Film narrated by Mr. Kalas, but instead, I’ll have to honor him with is shitty Coors ad:

I hope the afterlife is a fantasy island upholstered in soft Corinthian Leather and nothing like Ceti Alpha V after the explosion of Ceti Alpha VI.

Moment of silence for the unmistakeable, irreplaceable Ricardo Montalban.

I want to be remembered as I was when I was young and in my golden times… I want to be remembered as the woman who changed people’s perspectives concerning nudity in its natural form.

I don’t think you’ll have to worry, Bettie. Thank you.

Moment of silence for the one and only Bettie Page.

My introduction to Studs Terkel was a monologue from Working that I used in high school for college auditions. A cop on the edge who got to say the F-word, just what a 17-year-old boy like myself wanted to scream. I was too young and naive to really appreciate how important those words are.

Moment of silence for Studs Terkel.

I loved his acting. I loved his philanthropy. Hell, I loved his Balsamic Vinaigrette and his salsa.

Moment of silence for one of the all time coolest guys ever, Paul Newman.

David Foster Wallace died a few days ago, and I’ve been reticent to post this moment of silence. I know very little about the man other than the voracious appetite that people smarter than I am have for his work.

However, I do know a little bit about fighting mental health issues. Depression is a serious illness, and Wallace, like many other geniuses before him, succumbed to it. Depression is beyond rationalization or logic, a difficult notion for those who are capable of putting words to the indescribable.

Life itself, though, is too great a thing for one mind to comprehend. At some point in every person’s time here, we give up trying.

Some become pleased with what they have.
Some come to accept the limit of their understanding.
Some offer everything beyond their comprehension to God.
And some, unfortunately, lack the capacity to bear the weight.

When a person of genius takes their own life, I would like to believe they were so humbled by the vastness of the universe that they succumbed to their own futility. A comforting thought, but a silly one. Truth is, no matter how big you may understand life to be, when you suffer from depression, the sadness is always bigger.

David Foster Wallace surely still had a lot to say about our world. To his legions of fans who are rereading everything he wrote, I promise to pick up that copy of Infinite Jest* and try again.

Moment of silence for David Foster Wallace.

*A coworker pointed out this article. I share something in common with the writer:

In his honor, I plan to, once again, crack open Infinite Jest, make it about 15 pages in, then give up (again) and start reading that copy of Star (again).

In a world… where a singular voice can embody an entire industry…, one man stood alone. As the movie makers threw bomb after bomb at him…, he rose up… to make all of those terrible films sound… interesting. That man… was… Don… LaFontaine.

Moment of silence for “Thunder Throat.”

P.S.: Watch this.

Isaac Hayes’ turn as Chef was a ballsy move. It was a great way to laugh at himself and still always be the character that knew more than anyone else. Scientology aside, Isaac Hayes was a bad mother… shut your mouth!

Moment of silence for Isaac Hayes.